Babes of Hollywood

Paris is only out of the pokey for a couple of days and she’s already amusing horny bloggers. She was spotted this morning in a straw hat, oversized sunglasses and a black wig to rival Britney Spear’s latest weave and hair dye job on her way to a Hawaiian break (in search of the infamous Hawaiian gold, maybe?). If this wasn’t enough amusement, we were still trying to stop laughing from Paris’ statement on Larry King that she’s never done drugs before.

We wondered what was up with the awesome footage that caught Paris puffing on some mystery sticks at Coachella (now otherwise known as Roachella) as well as the apparent cannabis curiosities in Kim Kardashian’s car out in front of Hyde (not the best Hyde-ing place for Hilton). Word on the street says that Paris claims to enjoy rolling her own cigarettes – okay, but what’s in those cigs, Paris? Why not admit it and become the next ADD poster child for legalization of medical marijuana? We can’t think of a more worthy cause…

After all, Paris was going to take her celebutante status to help causes now that she’s had the incarceration experience. Consider the ad in this past week’s Hollywood Reporter that boasts that “marijuana works” and a job in “the industry” can leave you feeling stressed and panicky. Hey, Paris, you’re not alone! The ad shows a talent agent who can now endure the high pressure Hollywood world because marijuana, “helps with panic attacks, anxiety, heart palpitations and stress.” (This would have been great for Hilton while she was in the big house.) Maybe she can join forces with Hugh Hefner, who recently held a legalization of marijuana shindig at the Playboy mansion, to fight this important battle. Hey, anyone got some munchies?

Here’s uptight dude Bill Reilly’s cool clip of Hilton – gang a bong anyone?

Seems that horny blogger’s favorite Fox has been caught (where is Pam Anderson from PETA everyone?! Pun, as always intended) by none other than the California Highway Patrol. Yes, no sooner do we have sexy celebutante Paris Hilton back on the circuit when vivacious Vivica A. Fox gets stopped for DUI – and even cops a major ‘tude! How hot is that, dudes?!

In the report, the officer states that, “Fox began to walk away, yelling at my partner, ‘Brother help a sister – are you going to let this racist white cop do this…well are you?’” Apparently Fox called “white” cop Daniel Laubscher racist to the other office, a Hispanic named Sam Dealba.

Also in the report, Fox’s demeanor was described as “demeaning” and word on the street says a volatile Vivica required a patrol sergeant be called to the scene. Fox was taken to to the station and given a breath test and the report states, “Fox then burped quite loudly and I then aborted the test.” Sounds sweet…add to this that Fox was advised she could remove her high heeled spiked boots but she replied, “she was a dancer and felt more comfortable wearing them.” Seems that Fox blew (we love those two words together) .09, right over the .08 limit and faces a possible six months in a cage or a $1,000 fine.

In light of the recent fact that Shar Jackson revealed she is not pregnant at all and definitely not with Kevin Federline’s baby, it seems that Britney Spears may have had a change of heart abut her Fed-X. According to word on the street, Brit stated to K-Fed, “I want my family back!” This reportedly “stunned” K-Fed, who isn’t interested. Rumor has it that Federline is “working on a couple of projects to be announced the near future.” A perusal of the former Mr. Spears website revealed absolutely nothing – no commercials, no tours and no surprise to us.

Meanwhile, y’all, Brit has her own plans to join Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” tour in LA and perform alongside sexy Blondie, otherwise known as Debbie Harry, the Dresden Dolls and Erasure. As Spears shows horny bloggers all the time, girls just wanna have fun, y’all…

Speaking of girls having fun, titillating Tara Reid, a bit of a Britney lookalike these days, was spotted at JET nightclub at the Mirage in Vegas at 3 AM, sipping Grey Goose vodka in the VIP section and she closed down the club at 4:30 AM! Ironically, Reid requested that a drunk dude leave the VIP booth – maybe he was taking her drunken thunder? Anyhow, here are some sweet moments with Tara Reid in Taradise…

While Paris Hilton was released from jail today and all the hype has been about the Hiltons in Hollywood, there was some East Coast action going on in New York.

Now that horny bloggers have their favorite celebutante Paris back, we wonder when Lindsay Lohan will break out of rehab and grace the media with her Firecrotch again.

Apparently Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan were back in a Nassau County court Monday to fight over former felon Michael’s request to have visitation rights with his kids. The Nassau Courts were famous for the Joey and Mary Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher hearings where Fisher shot Joey’s wife and was dubbed “The Long Island Lolita” - now rumored to be appearing in a reality show with Joey where they live together. Anyway, Amy grew up just a town away from Lindsay – do they breed lots of Lolitas on Long Island? Back to the Lohans, Micheal walked out of court happy because it was suggested that the solution would be for him to visit his kids through a monitored process called “therapeutic reunification”. We’re not sure what the heck that is exactly – we just know that the Lohans seem to need a lot of therapeutic intervention these days…and we miss seeing our favorite Firecrotch hitting the club scene…

Speaking of hitting the New York scene, the lovely Eva Longoria and a “Die Hard” were promoting Justin Long this past weekend in New York City…meanwhile, at Demi Moore gave paparazzi an accidental flash of her nipple at her NYC home…anyway, here’s some hot footage of the luscious Longoria to give a bit of therapeutic intervention to horny bloggers who have been missing Paris and Lindsay…